California. The place where I should be right now, where I would be right now if I still swam... Instead I'm going to school and getting bullied and listening to people whisper about me behind my back and brushing off insults and stressing about my friends. I'm dealing with my racist, sexist, etcetera grandfather. I'm missing my boyfriend. I'm bottling up my rage at my closest friends because they keep on being mean to my boyfriend and saying bad stuff about him. I'm bottling up my sadness, because I don't want them feeling guilty about it, because what they say really hurts me.
And I could be in California with my swim group. Laughing. Tanning. Having a good time. Listening to music. Going out at night. Enjoying the beach. Watching a sunset.
It's a wonder I'm still holding myself together for the most part.
-Persephone
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