Setting Records Straight

I just skimmed through my blog and realized that I am very, very easily swayed to think things that I never would think otherwise. So this post is about setting records straight.

Home issues: grandpa and dad are perverted, mom is depressed, parents bicker, dad drinks, dad's never home. Current home standing: grandpa is a huge pervert, dad's a subtle pervert, mom's improving, parents seem to love each other, dad drinks, dad's home too much.

Guys: all idiots who don't know a thing. Occasional exceptions, Poseidon's a huge jerk and terrible boyfriend. Current guys: they're idiots, but girls are the bigger idiots. Sure, there's exceptions. Poseidon is a really great guy and one of my best guy friends, if not my best, and while he wasn't the best boyfriend, it was half my fault. If you want an example of a jerk, take a look at Jones. He is the worst type of scum.

Relationships: terrible with Poseidon, amazing with Jones. Current relationships: I'm single and loving it. Jones was a huge creep and I was really happy with Poseidon. What I wanted wasn't what I needed and what I needed was what I really wanted.

Break ups: I broke up with Poseidon to get with Jones. Current break ups: I was manipulated by Jones to get with him, though I hadn't planned on it. I broke up with Poseidon mutually because he was unsure and it just wasn't working.

Are we clear? Current means that it's what actually happened. Since I'm looking with a clear head now and all. Stuff that doesn't have "current" in front of it is the old, tainted view. But not anymore~! No, sir, I've got it straight.

And how am I doing at the moment? Well, I'm not so good. Jones really messed with my head. I don't think people really realize how serious it is. But I do know how it can be fixed, and it's really simple. I just need somebody to hold for a good half an hour. Maybe cry a bit. Or a lot. But that'd fix me right on up, good as new. All this negativity I'm feeling will just be gone with the tears. Problem is finding somebody to hold me.

-Persephone

Currently Here

Boys: Soturi, Kyo, Neji

Girls: Amarina, Megumi, Melina, Sparrow, Tenten

Jones Soda

I had an amazing day at the lake today with one of my old friends from swimming, whom I am going to refer to as Milk. It was really fun and we caught up on all sorts of important stuff, like our love lives, our social lives, the gossip in the swim group we no longer are a part of, and just life in general. I will never get over just how much fun I always seem to have with her every summer. We never really run out of things to talk about. The day would have been absolutely perfect, especially considering I got to have a Dr. Pepper, one of my favourite sodas, if not for one tini-tiny thing.

I happened to be spotted by Jones.

Before you jump to conclusions, Teddy, because I know you will, I didn't talk to him. In fact, I'm not 100% sure he saw me. I am, however, 100% sure that his friend, whom I will call Fred, did see me. There was a good five seconds worth of eye contact before I tried to hide my face in the back of the car I was in. Seeing those two was enough to remind me that not even the pool, the place that I feel most at home at, which I can't help but wonder if Poseidon remembers me saying, is no longer safe. It was obvious Jones and Fred had just come from the pool, or the library at the pool, and were headed back to Jones' place. Insert tired, stressed sigh here.

Just seeing him made me self conscious. Ugh. This is eating me from the inside. I think that going to Rock Ridge next week will help me clear out the slimy feeling I have inside. It's like just by having once been so close to him, I'm contaminated.

Now on to another topic. I say a lot of bad things about the male gender in general on here. This is not to say there aren't exceptions! And the people I refer to (typically Poseidon...) have plenty of amazing things about them that totally makes up for the bad. Thing is that, bad as the male population is, the female population is worse. This can all be summed up in one, simple statement.

Despite knowing all the bad things about guys, we still love 'em.

Yeah, we're idiots, but what can you do?

Some of the exceptions might be Jack, Teddy, Dionysus, Wolfe, and, yes, Poseidon's a great guy, too, though he has his faults. All of them do, regrettably, but I just take their faults and I get over them. All their faults just highlight the good parts about them, anyway. Let's go through the list, shall we~?

Jack. He can be a little... How to say it... Bipolar? One minute he's got this decision, the next he's got that decision. However, this does highlight the fact that he actually considers things. When he decides something, he decides it with all his heart.

Teddy! Ah, Teddy. He rambles on forever. But he's a really good storyteller.

Dionysus can be a little over the top. But it's fun and if I ever need somebody to help me get rid of the stress of the day, I can count on him.

Wolfe~. I don't want to say bad things about my snuggle buddy, but he can be such a downer. Still, I just use this as a way of seeing the fact that, despite being all down in the dumps sometimes, he pushes all that aside when I need him.

Oh, best for last, eh? Poseidon, Poseidon, Poseidon... What to do with you? Just take a look at the blog. There's so many faults I could pick as an example. How about them all? I'm not going to list them. But I'll sum it up good: I love every single little annoying thing he does and I've got no idea why.

This is something I'm pretty sure has to do with the fact I was smacked in the head with a baseball bat as a small child. Not a wooden one, either, a metal one.

-Persephone

Currently Here

Males: Soturi, Kyo, ???

Females: Amarina

Dormant: Megumi, Melina, Neji, Sparrow, TenTen

Forgetting Something

I was supposed to write something on here for Teddy... Don't remember what it was.

Sorry, Teddy.

=P

-Persephone

Currently Here

Males : Kyo, Soturi

Females: Amarina, Megumi, Melina

Dormant: Neji, Sparrow, TenTen

New Member

I post today to introduce a new member to the party in my head. Her name is Amarina Hart and if you'd like to know what she looks like, google Gemma Ward for an idea. Amarina is Australian, about seventeen, and an extremely good person. Having her around puts me in a way better mood than usual, though she sometimes scolds me for being mean and a little too blunt. That's just Sparrow or Kyo slipping through, though.

"Through" and "though" are spelt really similarly... Just noticed.

Anyway! Yeah, so, Amarina. New party member. Woo! I'm using her to write in a Harry Potter roleplay, actually, at the moment, and she's in Hufflepuff. Closer idea of her personality... Stereotypical Hufflepuff. She's the Keeper on her quidditch team, too.

An few things on Soturi... He was a werewolf. Now he's also a wizard at Hogwarts in Ravenclaw. And he's also fighting a zombie apocalypse in Cambridge. He's probably going to make his way to London soon. Interesting how things happen? In the Hogwarts roleplay, he's also Finnish, since his first name is Finnish.

That's all for now~.

-Persephone

In A Nutshell

In my head, things are a little weird. Really weird. Crazy weird. I don't exactly think the same way as most people. I'm going to explain exactly how my head works... At least, from what I understand. What I'm going to say could probably land me in an insane asylum and would likely lose me a lot of friends if I flat out told people.

Oh well, I guess.

When I was really little, I fell into a depression. To get through my parents arguing, stress, bullying, and constant changing, I developed a split personality. She shared a name with me and was sort of... My older self, so to say. It's a credit to her that I can be so much more mature than my actual age. She's about eighteen now and I often refer to her as Sparrow, since it's just less confusing than using my own name. For a long time, I actually became her. Few people knew the real me. She protected me and shouldered through anything that was difficult. She gave me confidence.

When I started roleplaying online, I used her as the character I would write with. It helped the real me to come out a bit more by channeling her into stories. To create more characters to write with, I developed more personalities. They rarely showed on the outside, but I always had them in my head, talking and arguing with me and each other. The first personalities I had were Sparrow, Isabella, and Clare.

Isabella and Clare changed drastically, though Sparrow has remained with me through the years. Isabella was rather blunt and honest and I have absorbed her back into myself. Clare was wicked and sadistic: the darker side of my personality.

It's a little bit frightening to think that I have a handful of people living in my head, constantly shifting around. Some die, new ones sprout up... My head is still rather childish, because Sparrow whisked me through my childhood. I have an insane amount of childish creativity, and as a result a simple word can spark a whole movie in my mind. For example, a little while ago Poseidon told me he was going to do some painting. I instantly imagined him and Teddy in a yellow sunroom painting a bowl of fruit that Jack was holding. Jack was Teddy's butler and Teddy was a successful businessman living in Britain in an English manor. He had a beautiful wife and two daughters. Poseidon was his best friend, a bachelor who mooched off of him.

See? A whole story from the word "painting."

Currently I have five "muses" living in my head. They are Sparrow, Melina, Kyo, Soturi, and Neji. Neji is actually from the anime Naruto, but my head took the character and had him set up shop in my mind. Sometimes it does that, what with me being a writer. Occasionally I slip into their characters... Sparrow is the mature, confident young woman and a natural leader. Melina is childish, optimistic, and creative. Kyo is sadistic, my dark side personified, as well as charming and manipulative. Soturi is a nice guy, ready to lend a hand, but a little sensitive and definitely protective of the few he holds close. He isn't a family man, but one might refer to him as such.

So, in my head, all these people live. It's like a big house in here. If too many of them are "awake" at once, I tend to get headaches. If they argue and fight, I tend to get headaches. If I'm doing something and am interrupted, one of them could slip out and show themselves on the outside. It's why I sometimes snap and get uncontrollably angry. Or extremely sad... I simply call myself temperamental.

It's not the truth.

So I can keep my split personalities under control by writing with them in roleplays. This is why I get kinda twitchy and irritable if I don't write for an extended period of time. I sort of revert back to Sparrow and try to keep people distant.

Anyway... That's my weird head. Say goodbye everybody~.

Sparrow: Goodbye~.

Melina: Bai bai~!

Kyo: See you again.

Soturi: Adieu.

Neji: Hn.

Me: Ciao!

-Persephone

Remembered

So there's kinda a few really important people that I seem to have forgotten to mention on here that really deserve mentioning. So I shall! Now I'm going to need names... Hmm... The first shall be... Jack! Because that's what he calls himself on his blog. The next shall be... Hmm... Wolfe! It fits, but you might not know why~. The next... There's really no name for him. He's this super epic dude I know that I don't really even know all that well, but he completely knows how my head works without knowing a thing of how it works, yet he knows so yeah... No real name for this guy. But I need one! AHHH!

...

For some reason I want to call him Sweden.

But he might kill me for it. Or the other guys would.

Ok, I can't think of a name, so I'm gonna call him Teddy and be done with it.

BAM!

Yes, Teddy, I know you're reading this and, no, you shouldn't feel emasculated.

Don't hate me and show Poseidon this blog.

Now then! On to talking about Jack, Wolfe, and Teddy! I'll start with Jack and Wolfe.

Well, Jack is my super epic glomp buddy, whom I glomp all the time. He's gay and wears scarves and is super epic and I love him sooooo much. Love you Jack! And he plays piano, guitar, and he sings. And he's epic. Did I mention he's epic? He is.

Then there's Wolfe. He's gay, too, but not in a way that you can tell. He's my absolute best guy friend and I can tell him anything and I love him sooooo much. More than Jack and that's a lot. Maybe as much as I love Cookie. And that a whole friggin lot. Anyway, Wolfe has gotten me though a whole lot. He understands on a whole other level that not many people can understand me on and vice versa, I think.

Then there's Teddy! I like calling you Teddy, Teddy. Anyway, Teddy's Teddy. You can't really explain him... He's tall and epic and random and gets choked up and he'd a total dork and this makes him totally epically amazing! He's one of my most epic friends. I trust him 100% and that's huge, 'cause I have trust issues big time in weird ways. Yet he gets that? Like I said, he gets me without getting me and it's weird. He gets offended by my blog lots. 'Cause I generalize the male gender. And, well, he's a guy.

But another thing that makes him epic? He realizes it's true.

BAM. Again.

Hehehe...

So yeah! Jack, Wolfe, and Teddy! Three epic, unique guys who needed to be on this blog more specifically! I'd trust them with my afterlife, they're all so amazing!

... To conclude this... Just for Teddy and Poseidon... Pooping~. I've been pooping~.

Sausage cat FTW x)

-Persephone

P.S. I suppose for Poseidon it's be "Derping~. I've been derping~."

Not-So-Solid Plan

Temptation is extremely hard to resist. In my previous post I wrote about my "diet," as I now refer to it, I was still unsure about if I was going to do it or not. Then, the day after I posted, I decided that I was definitely going to. This was going great up until I did the Harry Potter movie marathon at Poseidon's. It's like... Yeah, I'm definitely going to go on this diet... But you're making it really hard for me. Curse my stubborn emotions...

It's one of those situations that are like, "You're the only person I'd stop being gay for."

Ever had one of those? No? Well they're not really fun.

So yup! I'm going to be a lesbian when it comes to dating this summer~! And I'm still going to fool around with guys and stuff, maybe. I just don't want any of this "strings attached" issues I've been encountering. They really, really suck.

On another note, this morning, I wondered what it would be like to dress like a guy all summer. And I realized that I could actually do it, too, if I bought some looser jeans and wore a sports bra and baggy shirts. Then it would be simple to put my hair in a style that a guy might have. It's just that my face is feminine, which causes a problem. But I wonder if people would be fooled by it? Maybe, you never know. I'd probably end up looking a bit like Len Kagamine from Vocaloid. He has longer hair that he just wears up in a pony tail, but I don't think it's anywhere near as long as mine would end up being. I wonder if I could just wear it down... But then I might just look like a tomboy, which isn't really the desired affect. Anyway, just an idea.

... Still, I wonder.

And if I did it, I'd probably have to start acting like a guy, right? Ugh, I'd never be able to go to the lake, though... So maybe it's a project for a winter season. Or a year-round thing, and I'd just never go to a lake. Maybe have people refer to me by a different name? This would be like an ultimate prank... I've never really been too keen on pranking people, but this seems like it would be kinda fun. Anyway, an idea.

Just an idea...

Let's hope I don't do it.

-Persephone

Alive

I do believe I should tell you all that I am alive and recovering beautifully! The antibiotics are working wonders on my system and I do believe I am feeling roughly 50,000,000 times better than I did before. It's great! I'm happy and hyper constantly.

Anyway, another note... I'm hopeless? But when have I ever not been?

Yup, still hopeless.

Why? Wild guess!

If you guessed that I have a crazy ex boyfriend, am in love with a guy who can't get his head screwed on straight, and am thinking of totally jumping ship on the male gender, then you guessed right! No, you don't get a prize. What do you think this is? A well funded, first class blog with a shop and interesting entries? Think again!

Now, then, let me explain.

Jones or whatever I called him? He went crackers on Cookie when I broke up with him. Now he's constantly trying to talk to me? Eh, I was definitely right to break up with this guy. He's weird. Whenever I talk to him, it feels like there's slime on my skin and my gut tells me to get rid of him. Why did I even give this guy a shot? He's... Ah! He talks to me with this air of possessiveness and controlling attitude. Like he can order me around? He's always talked like this, and I'm only realizing it now that my head's above water. He's always demanding things! And it's just... Ugh. It's weird. And he tried to tell Cookie that I'd told him I'd never liked him and that I'd lied to him! Which he completely misunderstood and warped! It was like... Ah! I liked him, truly I did! And the lies were to make sure he wasn't upset! I would tell him I was busy with something so that I wouldn't drag down other people he'd be hanging out with when he wanted to be with me and I was in a foul mood or something. And I'd always try to be optimistic and sugar coat my criticisms, but that's just because he takes things to literally. Much more literally than I'd originally thought... Anyway, he's bad weird.

Yes, there's a bad weird. Weird has many levels. There's good weird, bad weird, funny weird, and weird. I'm good weird, funny weird is something you can find on Google, weird is, well, it's weird, and bad weird is what you get when you have a psycho ex!

Oh, yeah, so anyway, I still love Poseidon. But I guess we all should've known this already? I'll move on eventually, I guess, since I'll probably have to. It's nice being good friend with him, though, I have to admit. I guess we can sorta talk more freely? It's almost less awkward being exes than it was being a couple! So, anyway, yeah.

As for jumping ship... C'mon, hasn't any bisexual teen girl felt this at some point? Oh, wait, most teen girls aren't bisexual... Ok, well, haven't most teen girls ever thought that being single was better than a relationship at some point in their life? The majority of the male gender during high school just wants to get in your pants. It's like... I should just date girls! They want an actual relationship! So I'm tempted to just swing to being lesbian and only fool around with guys once in a while. It's a pretty solid plan. Plus, you can be more open with girls. If you're on your period and don't wanna do something, you can just flat out say it and not have to make up excuses!

So, yeah, that's my little rant of the very early morning...

Peace~!

-Persephone

Ill

I say 'ill' for a reason. I'm feeling worse than sick right now. Something, I dunno what, is seriously upsetting my body, and I should go see a doctor, but I kinda can't. It's not really worth complaining about, I guess, but I'm still going to. It's my blog, I'll do what I want on it! Anyway... Yeah. So I should go see a doctor, but I can't.

Why can't I? Good question! I can't because I have no way of getting to the clinic. Why don't I have a way of getting to the clinic? Because my parents are out of town. Oh, but don't you have a grandfather who's only too eager to please? Yes, but he's constantly out of the house this weekend. So my whatever has been steadily getting worse and better at the same time. I say worse and better because some things have improved while others have worsened. I think there's only been improvement because I've adjusted to the discomfort.

But what's wrong with me? Well, I'm not really quite sure. What I do know is that it's extremely painful to swallow and breath. My throat's swollen and sensitive to the touch. It feels sorta like the arteries in my neck are going to explode. And I've got a killer migraine constantly and that sickly feeling. Oh and hot/cold spells. You know where you're way too warm, but you're freezing? Yeah, those. Not fun!

On another note... Jones? The new boyfriend? Yeah, I'm thinking of breaking up with him. I get the feeling he only likes me 'cause he wants to get in my pants. I'm gonna call him on it next time I talk to him. I'll be like "So why do you love me?" and he'll probably say something about how pretty I am. Or something else really cheesy.

And telling me he loves me before we've even technically been on a date? Uh-huh...

Excuse me if you don't agree that's reason enough to dump a guy.

-Persephone

Hello Again

I have a long, boring (probably) update for all of you who read this thing. So I'll try and keep it short! Because I know you don't want me to ramble on and on and on.

Poseidon and I broke up!

But... I also got together with another guy... I need a name for him. Um... Jones. I'll call him Jones. Anyway, so me and Jones are now a pair. But we aren't going to be going "facebook official." We met last week... And I really like him. He's partially the reason I broke up with Poseidon, I'll be honest. Jones is amazing and wonderful and sexy and sweet and everything I'm looking for in a guy, from what I've been able to tell, and trust me when I say I've spent plenty of time getting to know the guy today.

Anyway... So my break up with Poseidon was sorta mutual, I suppose you could say. We agreed that we're better off friends to save us both from a lot of pain. He's still unsure about a lot of things about himself. So I'll give him his time and move on.

On another note, my cousin is visiting tomorrow... I've missed him so much. What should I call him... I'll call him Jesse. I've really missed Jesse... We haven't spoken in so long. I wonder what he'll be like... If he's still that aloof guy I remember. From what I hear he's grown a lot... He plays rugby, like Jones does... Hm... I can't wait to see him.

-Persephone