In A Nutshell

In my head, things are a little weird. Really weird. Crazy weird. I don't exactly think the same way as most people. I'm going to explain exactly how my head works... At least, from what I understand. What I'm going to say could probably land me in an insane asylum and would likely lose me a lot of friends if I flat out told people.

Oh well, I guess.

When I was really little, I fell into a depression. To get through my parents arguing, stress, bullying, and constant changing, I developed a split personality. She shared a name with me and was sort of... My older self, so to say. It's a credit to her that I can be so much more mature than my actual age. She's about eighteen now and I often refer to her as Sparrow, since it's just less confusing than using my own name. For a long time, I actually became her. Few people knew the real me. She protected me and shouldered through anything that was difficult. She gave me confidence.

When I started roleplaying online, I used her as the character I would write with. It helped the real me to come out a bit more by channeling her into stories. To create more characters to write with, I developed more personalities. They rarely showed on the outside, but I always had them in my head, talking and arguing with me and each other. The first personalities I had were Sparrow, Isabella, and Clare.

Isabella and Clare changed drastically, though Sparrow has remained with me through the years. Isabella was rather blunt and honest and I have absorbed her back into myself. Clare was wicked and sadistic: the darker side of my personality.

It's a little bit frightening to think that I have a handful of people living in my head, constantly shifting around. Some die, new ones sprout up... My head is still rather childish, because Sparrow whisked me through my childhood. I have an insane amount of childish creativity, and as a result a simple word can spark a whole movie in my mind. For example, a little while ago Poseidon told me he was going to do some painting. I instantly imagined him and Teddy in a yellow sunroom painting a bowl of fruit that Jack was holding. Jack was Teddy's butler and Teddy was a successful businessman living in Britain in an English manor. He had a beautiful wife and two daughters. Poseidon was his best friend, a bachelor who mooched off of him.

See? A whole story from the word "painting."

Currently I have five "muses" living in my head. They are Sparrow, Melina, Kyo, Soturi, and Neji. Neji is actually from the anime Naruto, but my head took the character and had him set up shop in my mind. Sometimes it does that, what with me being a writer. Occasionally I slip into their characters... Sparrow is the mature, confident young woman and a natural leader. Melina is childish, optimistic, and creative. Kyo is sadistic, my dark side personified, as well as charming and manipulative. Soturi is a nice guy, ready to lend a hand, but a little sensitive and definitely protective of the few he holds close. He isn't a family man, but one might refer to him as such.

So, in my head, all these people live. It's like a big house in here. If too many of them are "awake" at once, I tend to get headaches. If they argue and fight, I tend to get headaches. If I'm doing something and am interrupted, one of them could slip out and show themselves on the outside. It's why I sometimes snap and get uncontrollably angry. Or extremely sad... I simply call myself temperamental.

It's not the truth.

So I can keep my split personalities under control by writing with them in roleplays. This is why I get kinda twitchy and irritable if I don't write for an extended period of time. I sort of revert back to Sparrow and try to keep people distant.

Anyway... That's my weird head. Say goodbye everybody~.

Sparrow: Goodbye~.

Melina: Bai bai~!

Kyo: See you again.

Soturi: Adieu.

Neji: Hn.

Me: Ciao!

-Persephone